I have to apologize for not posting as often as I should. However, things can be overwhelming at times and it's not always easy to share feelings especially online.
As i put both of my boys to bed crying tonight, I realize again that the simple things in life truly matter the most. Although Logan has a hard time expressing himself, he is truly confused about what is going on and acts out because of the many changes and uncertainties in his life. Ryan was very upset that I won't be here tomorrow morning and that Monday to him is really a long time away. Both of their feelings are valid, and when I stop and think about all of the stupid shit we worry about in life, none of it really matters. Family is what matters! Love is what matters! Life is what matters! It breaks my heart knowing that both boys went to sleep feeling uneasy and I have no control over the situation. It really puts things in perspective for me. There is no nice way to say it, but Cancer Sucks! I pray that your family will never know what it feels like. Although, I know the things my children are experiencing will make them stronger individuals in the future, no kid should have to live it! With that being said, even though I don't express it enough; your prayers, support, and love over the past few months have meant more than you will ever know!
So tomorrow we go back in for a spinal tap and another round of high dose chemotherapy. She was originally scheduled for Monday, but her levels were not high enough. We will be leaving here at 5:30 am in the morning which will be tough being we can't see the boys! Hopefully, the earlier they start means the faster we can get home to them! Please pray for not only Mia, but for my boys as they are dealing with more than they should be! xoxo
